Going to the gym for the first time in years…

Trying to practice what I preach… Really enjoyed doing our ‘connecting with the body’s resources’ workshop at Leeds Beckett Uni today but afterwards I found myself feeling anxious and frazzled this evening. Partly because I haven’t been sleeping well last couple of nights, mixed with experiencing busy-public-transport-overwhelm twice this week as well as anticipating more busyness in the weeks to come.

So came home and felt annoyed with myself for feeling crap after a job well done. I absolutely love sharing my passion for bodywork and it feels incredibly important and meaningful so when I feel awful afterwards I can easily get a bit confused. But then I managed to get myself to the gym to calm my system down with weightlifting.

Getting back into this kind of workout has been a long time coming. And how I have missed it!

It’s been such a big part of my journey to coping better with life (and being me) and it brings back many memories. I prefer lifting weights using machines because I can focus on one part of my body and do everything slowly and controlled. I use my breathing very consciously (and very similar to Pilates or yoga practices) and I like using weights that are so heavy that I can only do 3×10 and the last set will make me shake. Afterwards I feel more solid, centred and grounded. And tired!

Video

Sunday collection (non verbal inspiration)

The past couple of months my obsession with dance has crawled up on me – slowly but surely.
I keep wondering what it is about dance that makes me feel this indescribable feeling inside. I love technique and am fascinated with body control. But dance is nothing without intent, without something pouring from the dancing body – something more than the body, more than the person, more than the movements…

Here are some of the things I have been inspired by recently

Sergei Polunin
Music by Hozier

Butoh dancer Maki Watanabe

Glorious mix of 66 dance scenes. Old school stuff

Pilobolus

Sia – bird set free
Dancer Ricky Ubeda

Sia – elastic heart
Dancers Shia LeBeuof and Maddie Ziegler
Choreography by Ryan Heffington

The forgotten body

I think that the way society works today, it can be easy to forget the body. Even though we are bombarded with stuff about body image, food, exercise, healthy living and the importance of appearances, none of this really connects us to our body. Rather it disconnects us because it is all about how it should be, not how it is.
How it really is here and now, for us as individuals in our individual bodies.
What would we be without our bodies?
What could we do without the body?
The mind takes up so much of our time – even when we do physical tasks and exercise, we can easily find ourselves in our minds rather than our bodies. With screens playing such a dominant part in our lives, in schools, at home and at work we are forced to be in our heads, thinking, analysing, planning and entertaining ourselves using our head based senses (sight, sound, smell, taste). And the body-based senses get neglected.
The body based senses are not just in our skin. It’s our entire nervous-system which is connected to everything in us; our bones, organs, muscles, other soft tissue, fluids etc. I find the more I connect with my body the more amazed I become. Everything the body does – all the time! Everything the body experiences – all the time!
Even though my body presents me with limitations, challenges and suffering I still think it is an amazing mystery to be explored and celebrated…