Reviewing how we live our lives

My dear co-blogger recently sent me some of her reflections on aims which I find quite inspiring. I think it is easy to become indoctrinated to have certain aims in life and forget to question why we are on this or that path.
I always struggle to find a concrete answer to the question “why am I here?” and often end up with things like; to love and be loved, to learn and to be myself… I can spend a lot of time questioning things and wondering “why” and ultimately end up doing much more thinking than doing. The good thing about this blog is that by writing I feel like I am doing something with all the thinking 🙂
The past couple of days I have been wondering what would happen if I decided that my aim for the next 10 years would be to become a healer; to put my focus and energy in to that. Seek out mentors, join courses in herbalism and bodywork, find a way to practice healing etcetera.
I am pretty sure that certain things I appreciate about my present lifestyle would be squeezed out or put on hold – which I am not so sure I would be able to accept. Also there is something in my psyche that persistently resists living in a goal-oriented way; the future is such a unpredictable thing and trying to control outcomes and achieve specifics seems a bit scary to me to be honest. Maybe I will be able to call myself a healer in 10 years but then it will probably be the result of things that happened along the way; people I have met and things I have been involved in because they made sense to me. Maybe in 10 years I can call myself a personal fitness instructor or recycling expert – who knows where life will take me…
I want to do things I enjoy in the here and now, things that seem meaningful now and not just in some distant foggy future. I can’t help thinking that I might be a bit spoiled but then I try and catch myself in my judgements; the fact that some things are enjoyable and meaningful to me does not mean that they are not also painful and a lot of hard work. I think my emphasis on meaning in everyday life comes from struggling with meaninglessness for many years. I felt very overwhelmed with the world and with the things people do to each other every day. And I do not want to get lost in that space again.
I find the aims of my friend beautiful; I think they manage to honour simplicity and complexity at the same time. There is a spaciousness in them as well as a very clear focus. They are not about becoming something specific but about working towards a sense of ease and fulfilment. Anyway that’s what I make of them 🙂 they inspire me to review at my own abstract and concrete aims and consider whether they make me feel focused or if they are causing me distress.
My co-blogger’s list of aims:
Things to aim for (daily):
  • Peace from the noise (both internal and external)
  • Clarity to make well-informed decisions (moment to moment)
  • To feel like I am pursuing or achieving aspects of a broader goal (live life by my values and morals – making pain into something useful/beautiful/worthwhile and helping others who are suffering)
Things to aim for (lifelong):
  • Greater understanding and acceptance of myself and my limitations (“we all move uneasily within our constraints”)
  • Develop some effective long term trauma recovery strategies (help to minimise the harmful effects of my experiences and the disruption caused to my daily activities)
  • Learn to let go of the expectations I place on others (whether that be close supports or everyday strangers)


Finally I found something yesterday which also made me reflect on how we choose to live our lives:


My present self is overall quite grateful to be where past selves have brought me. I hope my future selves will feel the same way about my present self.

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